Written by Florence Doisneau
Summer is here! Summer often equates for us with the idea of vacation. What comes to mind when we talk about vacation? I am sure an overwhelming number of people, whether it would be there first choice or not, would say the beach. Traveling and visiting a foreign country may very likely come up quickly as a possible answer. Some use their vacation time to visit their family or friends. Let us not forget the aficionados of the “stay-cation”. Just for fun, let ‘s go over the failures and successes of vacation. What is a ”good” vacation? Several answers are acceptable.
The notion of vacating, to leave, is part of the root of the word. If we decide to focus on this aspect then it seems that taking off and changing scenery is necessary to call your time off a vacation. Nonetheless, we would all agree to say that when we evoke the idea of vacation it comes hand in hand with the idea of resting and replenishing our physical and mental resources. Yet, we would all also agree to say that going on a trip to visit a different part of the world or a loved one can turn out to be a less than restful experience. Staying home can be great and it may go sideways. Is there such a thing as a perfect vacation?
Traveling abroad can be trying: booking tickets, deciding where to stay, budgeting, getting a passport, packing your suitcase, hustling your way to your destination, dealing with transportation strikes or technical issues, making it to heaven or arriving in a place where everything feels hostile, jetlag, gathering souvenirs for everyone back home and squeezing your brain for an original idea for the hundredth postcard you are writing, being swept off your feet by the beauty of the place, getting sick with the local food, getting robbed, meeting awesome new people, making decisions you would never have made in your everyday life, feeling different than your usual you…
Any and all incidents and adventures will make amazing stories to tell for the rest of your life and get your mind off the day-to-day. Also, you may discover new aspects to your personality. But even when all goes as plan, few are the ones who come back feeling fully rested. Plus, we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to enjoy a trip that required financial or social sacrifices and we wonder if it was all worth it.
As much as we may look forward to it, visiting friends or family can be a draining experience. There are so many things to do in so little time. Adding to that the social dimension of having to compose with others’ agendas and ideas and we may end up dealing with frustrating situations. This type of trip also cumulates some savory logistic challenges. Staying home will take out the logistic aspects of the equation but one of the downfalls is that we may fill our time with all the tasks we have been putting off and not allow ourselves to decrease our stress level. On the other hand, if we chose to do nothing we may also be disappointed in the sense that we may feel we squandered that precious time off.
In order for us to make the best use of our time we have to identify what we need and want to be fulfilled. Most of our lives we tend to confuse our needs with our values. As a result from that confusion our choices tend to be less than fulfilling. A need is something that has to be satisfied for us to find our balance and these needs differ from one person to another. Also, the needs referred to in this case come after you satisfied your fundamental needs as schematized in the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. On the other hand, living by your values will nourish your sense of fulfillment and purpose. If you do not handle your needs it will drive your life and the constant chase will leave you dissatisfied. For instance, a person collecting degrees and certifications can do so out of a need for recognition or to a need to prove themselves. Moreover, someone passionate about their field can accumulate rewards and acknowledgements in the process of achieving excellence.
To select the activities that will be the most beneficial and how to make the best use of our precious time we have to distinguish what we need from what will align with our values. Our needs have to be met. Ask yourself what will bring you back into balance. Do you need peace and quiet or some excitement and adventure? Once you figured out how your time can meet your needs you can take it to the next level by touching in what will make your time off an opportunity to nurture yourself. Is there something you want to study or discover? Maybe there is an activity you have put aside for a long time that you have been dreaming of picking up again.
Whatever you choose, one thing to accomplish during your time off is to break away from the inertia of your daily life. A break from your day-to-day, a chance to disconnect from your roles, regular activities, state of mind is what you are aiming for. It is a chance to distance yourself from your life to refresh your thoughts and correct or reinforce what will make you successful and happy in your choices. As Maya Angelou expresses it in “Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now”: “Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
Ultimately, creating a life you do not need to take a vacation from is key to happiness. The way we manage our daily life and making choices that are congruent with what we want to realize is crucial in the grand scheme of things. It is impossible to control most situations that come our way but many of our choices have an impact on generating those situations. We have to identify the “drainers” and “fuelers” in our daily routines. Allowing drainers to persist in our existence slows us down and take an inacceptable toll on our happiness and wellbeing. Investing time in what fuels us on the other hand is indispensable. This is another place where self-awareness plays an important part. We take on habits that we end up not challenging when questioning the why we do what we do and how it is beneficial has to be revised on a regular basis to pull us out of the autopilot mode. This process requires to distinguish our needs from our values.
We create who we want to be by achieving balance while fulfilling our needs and we live by our values when our activities align with our best self. Otherwise, we set ourselves up to creating a life where we experience constant frustration, swimming upstream and burdened with all the tolerations sucking out our energy. No wonder we breakdown as soon as we get a chance to catch our breath. Some people systematically get a headache on Saturday morning. Why? Because they are systematically decompensating for the stress they gathered all week. Or we get sick on the first day of vacation. That too is a sign that too much is going on and that we are not recuperating adequately from the life we built for ourselves.
In a nutshell, go right ahead in building habits that make you happy. No need to wait for that week of vacation happening sometime in an undetermined future. It is true that at times we have to bite the bullet and deal with a particularly challenging series of crisis. Also, it cannot be expected to have a perfectly eventless period of time. That is why having hobbies and time for ourselves to rest is not a luxury but a necessity to stay productive and healthy. It is indispensable to make time to not only refresh our ideas but also to break away from the day to day to ensure we are on track with our life objectives. Life is constantly changing and we have to recreate ourselves perpetually. Without time set aside to rethink and reposition ourselves we cannot evolve and grow. Staying the same is not an option when we want to thrive. What does a life where you do not need a vacation from look like?
