Written by Florence Doisneau
Is there a formula to achieve balance between work and life? Of course not. It would be too easy. It is not that complicated either. Often times, we tend to use one as a shield from the responsibilities of the other. On occasion, life feels out of control due to a series of events out of our control. Rather often, there is a certain thrill in experiencing chaos. It is difficult to let go of the familiarity of feeling overwhelmed, and of the rush of adrenaline a jam-packed schedule produces. Maybe we thrive on it until the day we breakdown if that day is ever to come.
First, we need to identify what is balance. Actually, a good place to start is by defining what is not balance. In the chapter “The Secret of the Middle Way” of his book The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer gives us a glimpse of what living in the Tao looks like. This is an extract, p. 171: “In the Tao, you are blind, and you have to learn to be blind. You can never see where the Tao is going; you can only be there with it. A blind person walks down a city street with the use of a cane. Let’s give that cane a name: it’s the seeker of the extremes, it’s the feeler of the edges, it’s the toucher of the yin and the yang. People who walk with the use of that cane often tap from side to side. They’re not trying to find where they should walk; they’re trying to find where they shouldn’t walk. They are finding the extremes. If you cannot see your way, all you can do is feel for the edges. But if you feel the edges, and don’t go there, you will stay in the Way. That’s how you live in the Tao. All great teachings reveal the way of the center, the way of balance. Constantly look to see if that’s where are living or if you are lost in the extremes. The extreme create their opposites; the wise avoid them. Find the balance in the center and you will live in harmony.”
In order to identify those extremes we ought to take inventory of our lives on a regular basis. Are there any physical, emotional or mental signs that we are off-kilter? Physical signs may include difficulties to sleep, tensed muscles, digestive issues or headaches. Our bodies communicate us an incredible amount of information if we know how to read its signs and pay attention. On an emotional level, signs may be anything from irritability to a complete lack of interest in anything. On a mental level we may experience confusion or difficulties to focus. Such a list could become rather long. Indeed, an interesting form of exercise could be to list for each of these three categories the signs you come across for yourself, which makes it more relevant for you and the process gives you more insights on how you function. Find out where your extremes are and what constitutes the middle way in your life. It is likely to change in the course of your existence and a key to success and happiness is to learn to work with what you have in the moment. Our point of balance can change from one day to the next therefor we are bound to repeat the exploratory exercise regularly.
Knowing the middle way is one thing and moving forward, evolving and growing, also participates in finding our balance. Finding balance is not about immobility. The tightrope walker does not stay in one place on his wire. Having a sense of purpose and setting our compass in a particular direction is necessary to assess our priorities. Once we have our priorities figured out we take congruent actions towards accomplishing our objectives, otherwise we remain stagnant and entropy will rule. We have to find balance between decline from lack of action, burnout from excess action and delays resulting from incongruent actions. It is not a linear process with clearly defined steps yet, we can set up a plan to build momentum and get engaged in the process. Moreover, an important component to finding balance is creativity. Creativity in necessary to design what you want to do and be, as well as how to put down the building blocks to the life we want to construct. We engage in a creative process as we shape our lives. It also plays an essential role in overcoming the hurdles and challenges that are part of life. Creativity gives us the flexibility and adaptability that is indispensable not only to survive but also to thrive.
As a matter of fact, living in balance amounts to living in integrity. Whether we visualize life in seven aspects, five areas, or via the dichotomy personal life/professional life we cannot allow one part to suffer and expect to compensate with another. Just as in any recipe the proportions matter. In order for the flavors to combine well and create harmony in the palate we have to find an adequate dosage. There is such a thing as too salty, or an ingredient might completely overpower the rest of the dish, or the dish might end up being bland. When we have identified a mode of representation that we can work with we need to ensure that we select activities, relationships, hobbies, work, and practices that enrich one another and provide the bricks to shape our big picture. It is a never-ending endeavor and without us fully participating to that process we cannot reach states of balance let alone happiness.
